Well, the title says it all. I am trying to enjoy my last week of confinement here. I am feeling a little lethargic though - like a sloth, who moves slowly and says things like, "Sunlight? What is that?" and "Leg asleep again. Can't get up from couch."
I seriously think I have worn a hole in my favorite couch cushion.
I know what you all are thinking. She should do some yoga or aerobics. (Actually, aerobics is out of style. People now do Core Rhythm and Turbo somethin' or 'nother.)
I asked my husband if I could buy a Wii Fit and start doing their sports and aerobics programs. Of course, he suggested we wait and see - maybe for my birthday. My birthday is next week, and I am trying to decide if I actually do want this Wii Fit thing, or if I would rather have a new camera (one that I have been coveting for 2 years now!), or if I should ask for something we actually need.
What we actually need is a new refrigerator, and we have been saving money for one over the past 2 years. We were planning to purchase it in October, but if we put our birthday money towards it, we can buy it a few months sooner. Yusuke's birthday is at the end of July and he seems to think this would be a great idea.
I'm still not entirely convinced. For my Xmas present last year, I got a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Now, I am not complaining about it, but wouldn't it be nice to get something I actually WANT instead of a household appliance?
As for the Wii Fit, we talked about it last night, and I confessed that there is a possibility that I will quickly lose interest in the Wii Fit. I mean, perhaps I am just feeling down lately (more like hopeless!), but I am afraid that I have absolutely no interest in exercise.
Oh, don't get me wrong, before having the baby (pre-confinement), I had visions of taking Max and Luka out for long walks during the day. I also thought I might join Curves if it is possible to bring a baby and let him sleep in his stroller for that 30-minute session. We have a Curves nearby, and I thought this would make the most sense for me. However, I am not so sure I want to make the effort at this point. The midwife told me she belongs to Curves (I am not sure which location), but she said her place is so tiny that there is only enough room for the exercise equipment, so it would be impossible to park a stroller in there. Oh well.
For now, I have my weight posted on the bathroom mirror and every Monday, I weigh myself and mark it on the list. It is supposed to motivate me to keep trying, but it doesn't help when Yusuke brings home chocolate and snacks along with his daily grocery runs. (Don't blame him totally though because I DO REQUEST the CHOCOLATE.)
Plus, by throwing around words like "confinement", I have managed to stave off most visitors, so I can easily avoid all the cakes, cookies and donuts they would inevitably bring to our house. But, I won't be able to do that much longer. Going outdoors also means meeting friends for coffee or lunch so they can meet Luka and we can catch up with each other. It also means that I have accept visitors to our home, and I may have to come right out and say, "Please do not bring anything with you unless it's healthy or fruity."
Well, wish me luck as I prepare to go out into the world again. Hopefully, I can resist temptations...doubtful, but it could happen.
Oh, on a side note, I am now reading Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. I so wish I could be like that.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
This is how communication breaks down
Recently, my husband and I have pinpointed our main problem to be lack of communication or just general issues with how information is communicated between us.
Case in Point #1
I'll share this story first because it is the ultimate example of why we have issues, but I'll warn you that it is an extreme case.
A couple years ago when our marriage was not in a good place, and just after I had given birth to my daughter and was still feeling fat...wondering why the weight wasn't just falling off like it does for every other previously pregnant woman on the planet, it just so happened that the movie Monster (starring Charlize Theron) was repeatedly being shown on our cable TV.
You remember this movie, right? And, if you remember the movie, you will surely remember the way Charlize was made to look for the movie.
During a fight, my husband said that I resembled the character from the Monster movie.
Keep in mind that he, like most humans, has a tendency to say particularly mean things during arguments that he later regrets saying because they are not exactly true.
(Oh god, please tell me I don't look like that. I know I have aged a bit since having kids. And, sometimes my hair gets frizzy especially during rainy season. And, when I don't wear make-up, my dark circles show up. And, maybe when I am really pissed off about something, my emotions show on my face and that might make me appear less attractive, but ...)
So, anyway, this comment has always stuck in the back of my mind, but our marriage is in a much better place now, so I know he would never say something like that ... or would he?
Last night, guess what? That Monster movie was on TV again and we happened to turn it on during a certain lesbian love scene between Charlize and Christina Ricci. My husband was gagging, not because they were lesbians, but because, he said, Charlize looks so ugly and how could Christina stand kissing her?
Shortly thereafter, I got up and went to the toilet. Baby Luka was sleeping in his Moses basket on the kitchen table. I was gone for, perhaps, one minute or less. When I came back into the room, my husband looked at me and said in Japanese:
"Looks just like you."
My reaction:
"What?! Shut up. Fuck you."
What was I supposed to think? He is completely engrossed in the Monster movie, making comments about how ugly Charlize Theron looks, and one minute later, he says, "Looks like you."
Let's back up for a minute. In Japanese, it is very common to leave off the subject of your sentences because this is a very intuitive culture where all Japanese people can read each other's minds. So, often the subject is not mentioned throughout a conversation and for foreigners like me, it leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding.
If he had included his subject, the sentence would have been:
"Luka looks just like you."
And, I would have said, "Really? You think so? Wow!"
He claims that while I was in the bathroom, he got up to check on Luka in his Moses basket and noticed (not for the first time) that Luka resembles his mother.
He also claims to have no memory of making that nasty comment to me during an argument which occurred 2 years ago. Men - they forget so easily!
Case in Point #1
I'll share this story first because it is the ultimate example of why we have issues, but I'll warn you that it is an extreme case.
A couple years ago when our marriage was not in a good place, and just after I had given birth to my daughter and was still feeling fat...wondering why the weight wasn't just falling off like it does for every other previously pregnant woman on the planet, it just so happened that the movie Monster (starring Charlize Theron) was repeatedly being shown on our cable TV.
You remember this movie, right? And, if you remember the movie, you will surely remember the way Charlize was made to look for the movie.
During a fight, my husband said that I resembled the character from the Monster movie.
Keep in mind that he, like most humans, has a tendency to say particularly mean things during arguments that he later regrets saying because they are not exactly true.
(Oh god, please tell me I don't look like that. I know I have aged a bit since having kids. And, sometimes my hair gets frizzy especially during rainy season. And, when I don't wear make-up, my dark circles show up. And, maybe when I am really pissed off about something, my emotions show on my face and that might make me appear less attractive, but ...)
So, anyway, this comment has always stuck in the back of my mind, but our marriage is in a much better place now, so I know he would never say something like that ... or would he?
Last night, guess what? That Monster movie was on TV again and we happened to turn it on during a certain lesbian love scene between Charlize and Christina Ricci. My husband was gagging, not because they were lesbians, but because, he said, Charlize looks so ugly and how could Christina stand kissing her?
Shortly thereafter, I got up and went to the toilet. Baby Luka was sleeping in his Moses basket on the kitchen table. I was gone for, perhaps, one minute or less. When I came back into the room, my husband looked at me and said in Japanese:
"Looks just like you."
My reaction:
"What?! Shut up. Fuck you."
What was I supposed to think? He is completely engrossed in the Monster movie, making comments about how ugly Charlize Theron looks, and one minute later, he says, "Looks like you."
Let's back up for a minute. In Japanese, it is very common to leave off the subject of your sentences because this is a very intuitive culture where all Japanese people can read each other's minds. So, often the subject is not mentioned throughout a conversation and for foreigners like me, it leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding.
If he had included his subject, the sentence would have been:
"Luka looks just like you."
And, I would have said, "Really? You think so? Wow!"
He claims that while I was in the bathroom, he got up to check on Luka in his Moses basket and noticed (not for the first time) that Luka resembles his mother.
He also claims to have no memory of making that nasty comment to me during an argument which occurred 2 years ago. Men - they forget so easily!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Burning through the books
Under Japanese tradition, I am still in confinement. Isn't that funny? Your due date is directly translated into "date of confinement" here. Confined with your baby inside the house for weeks...it varies depending on your family's opinion, I guess. I think (but I am not exactly sure) that my confinement will end this weekend, and I will be expected to start picking Ailin up from daycare every afternoon, with Luka in tow. That means, I can also start doing other errands.
Well, in defense of confinement everywhere, I will admit that when Ailin was born, I wanted to show her off to the world, and I couldn't wait to get out of the house after she was born. In fact, I felt like a prisoner. My husband would accuse me of going outside if he noticed that the newspaper had been brought up. I would put her in a sling and take a short walk to the neighborhood dvd rental store, then I would pick up a dvd or two. I, of course, hid the rented dvds from my husband so he wouldn't accuse me of going outside.
This time, I actually looked forward to my period of confinement. (Oh, it sounds like something only princesses get to do.) Last year, going back to work and then getting pregnant and having to work plus take care of a toddler left me so exhausted. I looked forward to confinement only because it would give me a chance to rest. For the first time in two years, I have actually been able to read a steady stream of books. All those purchases from Amazon that have been gathering on my bookshelf over the past 2 years, they are finally getting read.
I used to have this personal policy that I would read one non-fiction and then one fiction and so forth. I've been enjoying the non-fiction lately though.
The Discipline Book by Dr & Martha Sears
I am now a big fan of Sears, as I have alluded to before. They are great people who write great books, and I quite enjoyed this one because Ailin is going through her Terrible Twos stage. I probably should have read the book BEFORE this phase started, but indeed, it did give me some ideas for dealing with her picky eating and her temper tantrums.
Letters to my Daughter by Maya Angelou
This was a gift from my mom. Very very fast read. It took me one day to read it. Basically, it is short stories about turning points in her life with a few poems thrown in. It reminded me of my idea to scrapbook some pages about pivotal moments in my life, and I did manage to do one page, but I forgot to do the others. I need to get on that soon.
How to Teach Your Baby to Read by Glenn Doman
Yeah, right is probably what you are thinking. It sounds crazy. Especially since the cover shows a mom with an 18 month old on her lap and she is showing her a huge flashcard with the word "Mommy" on it. The book was recommended by some other AFWJ moms who wanted to teach their young children to read English before they would begin elementary school and be inundated by kanji. This reading program is geared towards kids under 5 and involves mainly flashcards eventually moving on to books.
This book was published in the 60's and it has not changed much since. I guess the methods work, but I would have liked to see his methods updated with how-to instructions for making flashcards on your computer. Isn't that what most people would do nowadays? Anyway, he warns people not to waste time making flashcards using stencils, and I was like, "stencils? What?" In any case, I am trying to order the deluxe kit which supposedly includes a whole slew of already-made flashcards.
By the way, I did make some cards on my computer and started this reading program with Ailin (and with Luka, but for babies, it is like one word per day). She seems to enjoy it so far.
Outliers by Malcolm Galdwell
My dad recommended the book and then sent it to me. It's great. It's all about how some people end up being successful and others don't. It then goes into cultural differences and why some culture's people are successful at certain things while other cultures fail. I am halfway through and really fascinated by it.
AudioBooks
I am America by Stephen Colbert
I listened to this 4 times while in the hospital, and it was so funny. He is just hilarious, isn't he?
When you are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
I've read 2 or 3 of his other books, and I am also a fan of his sister (actress), Amy Sedaris. I really get a kick out of his stories especially about his family. In this book, he talks more about his life with partner Hugh in France and a little bit about his siblings. It's more of a smattering of events and no real theme threaded through out the book.
Next up:
I downloaded My Life by Bill Clinton.
Blogs:
I discovered a blog called Write.Click.Scrapbook. which is a collective blog maintained by many of the women who previously worked for Simple Scrapbooks magazine. They invite readers to post lay outs on their gallery at Flickr. I am such a geek, but this is really exciting to me.
Well, in defense of confinement everywhere, I will admit that when Ailin was born, I wanted to show her off to the world, and I couldn't wait to get out of the house after she was born. In fact, I felt like a prisoner. My husband would accuse me of going outside if he noticed that the newspaper had been brought up. I would put her in a sling and take a short walk to the neighborhood dvd rental store, then I would pick up a dvd or two. I, of course, hid the rented dvds from my husband so he wouldn't accuse me of going outside.
This time, I actually looked forward to my period of confinement. (Oh, it sounds like something only princesses get to do.) Last year, going back to work and then getting pregnant and having to work plus take care of a toddler left me so exhausted. I looked forward to confinement only because it would give me a chance to rest. For the first time in two years, I have actually been able to read a steady stream of books. All those purchases from Amazon that have been gathering on my bookshelf over the past 2 years, they are finally getting read.
I used to have this personal policy that I would read one non-fiction and then one fiction and so forth. I've been enjoying the non-fiction lately though.
The Discipline Book by Dr & Martha Sears
I am now a big fan of Sears, as I have alluded to before. They are great people who write great books, and I quite enjoyed this one because Ailin is going through her Terrible Twos stage. I probably should have read the book BEFORE this phase started, but indeed, it did give me some ideas for dealing with her picky eating and her temper tantrums.
Letters to my Daughter by Maya Angelou
This was a gift from my mom. Very very fast read. It took me one day to read it. Basically, it is short stories about turning points in her life with a few poems thrown in. It reminded me of my idea to scrapbook some pages about pivotal moments in my life, and I did manage to do one page, but I forgot to do the others. I need to get on that soon.
How to Teach Your Baby to Read by Glenn Doman
Yeah, right is probably what you are thinking. It sounds crazy. Especially since the cover shows a mom with an 18 month old on her lap and she is showing her a huge flashcard with the word "Mommy" on it. The book was recommended by some other AFWJ moms who wanted to teach their young children to read English before they would begin elementary school and be inundated by kanji. This reading program is geared towards kids under 5 and involves mainly flashcards eventually moving on to books.
This book was published in the 60's and it has not changed much since. I guess the methods work, but I would have liked to see his methods updated with how-to instructions for making flashcards on your computer. Isn't that what most people would do nowadays? Anyway, he warns people not to waste time making flashcards using stencils, and I was like, "stencils? What?" In any case, I am trying to order the deluxe kit which supposedly includes a whole slew of already-made flashcards.
By the way, I did make some cards on my computer and started this reading program with Ailin (and with Luka, but for babies, it is like one word per day). She seems to enjoy it so far.
Outliers by Malcolm Galdwell
My dad recommended the book and then sent it to me. It's great. It's all about how some people end up being successful and others don't. It then goes into cultural differences and why some culture's people are successful at certain things while other cultures fail. I am halfway through and really fascinated by it.
AudioBooks
I am America by Stephen Colbert
I listened to this 4 times while in the hospital, and it was so funny. He is just hilarious, isn't he?
When you are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
I've read 2 or 3 of his other books, and I am also a fan of his sister (actress), Amy Sedaris. I really get a kick out of his stories especially about his family. In this book, he talks more about his life with partner Hugh in France and a little bit about his siblings. It's more of a smattering of events and no real theme threaded through out the book.
Next up:
I downloaded My Life by Bill Clinton.
Blogs:
I discovered a blog called Write.Click.Scrapbook. which is a collective blog maintained by many of the women who previously worked for Simple Scrapbooks magazine. They invite readers to post lay outs on their gallery at Flickr. I am such a geek, but this is really exciting to me.
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